The first few weeks of postpartum life are honestly a blur. I can remember being soaked in breastmilk, spit up, blood, or sweat. I was exhausted, in pain, and emotional. Overall, I was happy. Life was just different. I started to realize that I was never truly alone anymore. The newly placed guilt in my heart crippled me from doing the things that I once loved. My daughter was here and she was my new responsibility. This was how I felt after Baby E was born.
Fast forward 20 short months later to the birth of my second baby. Right as I was starting to feel somewhat comfortable in my role as a mother, I was forced into a completely new territory (but somewhat familiar) as a mother of two. I was back in the trenches of being emotional, overly hormonal, and exhausted. Only this time, I had an additional person who completely counted on me.
To say that I was physically and emotionally exhausted is an understatement. But here I am, y’all! 9 months later and feeling like I am steadily getting my groove back (Insert Salsa Dancer emoji here). Baby J still isn’t sleeping a full 12 hours uninterrupted. Baby E is sassier than ever. They’re both requiring a lot more attention than before. I’m still exhausted every day. Overall, I’m starting to feel a little bit more like “me”. With that being said, I want to share my “journey” in efforts to help any new mamas see that there is light at the end of the tunnel (I guess- I’m no motherhood expert, haha).
So here are a few things that I did to rediscover my identity after baby:
1. Immersed myself in the hobbies that bring me joy.
Since starting this blog, I’ve realized how much I love it. I won’t say that it “saved me” but it did give me an outlet and a platform that I didn’t have or even know about prior to having children. I’ve met so many incredible people and have had really great opportunities. So, I keep writing (and hopefully people keep reading). It has kept me busy and kept my mind focused on something other than wiping butts and feeding snacks, so I’m thankful for this little blog.
2. Scheduled out time for self care
Self care can be a number of things. For me, it’s working out or something as simple as leaving the house to go to a coffee shop for a couple of hours. After devoting so much of my mind and body to my family, I’ve realized that I need to give myself time as well. By doing this, I’ve found myself happier than before.
3. Let go of parts of my past
I used to love a lot of things that just don’t make sense now. When I became a mom, I felt forced to drop several activities and hobbies from my life. Either I thought that I couldn’t like/be interested in certain things because I had to have a different role or I didn’t have the time/energy/money to participate.
After 2+ years, I’ve realized that “yes, I can still enjoy some of the elements of my past” but also I have to know what parts to let go of as well. Because I have a younger group of friends, I would occasionally find myself longing for my old life- a life where I could come and go as I please and basically have no responsibility. That’s just not my life anymore. Now that I’ve realized that, I feel at peace with my decisions to decline things that aren’t suited for me anymore.
4. Focused on my growth
At the beginning of this year, I made a vision board. Whenever I’m doing “off task” or that won’t enhance my growth, I think about where I am now and where I want to be tomorrow. This mindset has helped me stay on track and stay positive. It has also helped me stay insanely busy working on a better me.
This also includes staying off of social media as much. I know that you’re sick of me talking about social media and how it’s the worst. The limitations that I’ve put on myself in regards to it have been spectacular. I like to remind myself that while I’m scrolling and looking at other people live awesome lives, I could be working towards my own awesome life. It has also helped me focus on being myself- not comparing myself to other mothers or women- just loving what I want to love, eating what I want to eat, and dressing how I
want have to dress.