I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while now. A lot of people have asked me how life has changed since I decided to stay at home with my kids. So today’s post is going to share my feelings about being a stay-at-home mom, the pros and cons, which job is harder, and hints towards the future.
First and foremost, I have to say that having the privilege to even stay at home is incredible. I know that not many women in America have this option and it’s something that I will NEVER, EVER take for granted. I never had aspirations of being a stay-at-home mom BUT I also never had intentions of sending my babies to child care. So I guess being at home was sort of a given?
Prior to Baby J’s birth, we were balancing our lives with a work schedule that was excellent for E but somewhat hard on the both of us. I worked weekends, my husband worked weekdays. Like I said, it was great but also draining. We didn’t have much time with each other or to ourselves because we were so busy. That lifestyle plus the fact that I was ready for a career change led us to believe that it was time for me to take a little break.
Now I’m about 7 months into this life of being a stay-at-home mom. It’s crazy for me to even type that because OH MY GOSH MY BABY IS 7 MONTHS OLD! I was SO SO SO incredibly blessed to have my husband with me for the first 4 months. Having him home made the transition super smooth.
Anyways, here are my feelings and whatnot…
- I’m always there for them when they need me
This is easily one of the best parts of being at home. Whenever they feel sick or overwhelmed, I love that I know they’ll be getting the support that (I think) they need!
- I get to take naps (occasionally)
This is not to brag because it’s truly a rare thing. Occasionally, on that rare moment when they both nap at the same time, I also try and get a little power nap in. Having two babies can be EXHAUSTING so I think that I earned it.
- I feel important to my kids and my husband
I know that I am obviously important to them all but being at home makes me feel like the boss. While I hate running errands and scheduling appointments, I’m glad that I can do it to take the stress off of my husband. I try to clean as much as possible, take care of the bills and any annoying phone calls that need to be made. J is always so thankful for those things so it makes me feel important.
- I get to exclusively breastfeed
This isn’t something that I was striving to do but has just happened. After Harvey, I obviously lost my entire milk stash. I’m still currently working on replenishing it. Because we didn’t have the milk and I’m home all day, every day anyways, I’m going strong on nursing Baby J.
- I’m completely in control of their schedules
Having a schedule is just what works for our family. I know that not everyone has a set schedule for their kids but we do. We all love it. Baby J naps at the same times every day. E sort of does too. We have a fun little schedule that is occasionally broken for more fun activities. This just keeps the entire family pretty happy.
- I’m with them for these crucial years
In my opinion, these are some of the crucial years. I love getting to see them learn to walk, talk, crawl, and play. I also know that soon they’ll be in school and not want to have anything to do with me. So I’m sort of soaking in all of their
clinginesslove right now.
- We’re not losing money
I mean, we’re not gaining much more money but we’re definitely not losing it either!
- I have a little bit of time to work on blogging/business throughout the day
During their rare, synchronized naps, I choose between either sleep, eat, or work. Lately I’ve been choosing work/tv. This is my only alone/quiet time EVER. So I really cherish and appreciate it.
- It’s lonely
It’s weird that I’m with 2 little people all day and still feel lonely. This is one of the hardest parts of being a SAHM. It’s also something that has completely blindsided me. People always tell me to “set up play dates” or “go hang out with your old friends” but it’s easier said than done. Play dates are totally hit or miss and can also be extremely stressful. Most of the time, you don’t truly get to engage or have a conversation with the other mom because you’re too busy trying to wrangle your kiddos. Hanging with old friends is great but it usually just reminds you of how you don’t get out of the house too often. My husband comes home and tells me funny work stories and I also circle back to the fact that I can’t remember the last time that I actually spoke to an adult.
- It can be extremely draining
It’s so weird to think about how I can feel so tired at the end of the day even though I’ve just been home all day. It’s a completely new type of exhaustion. The use of discipline, the whining, the crying, the chasing, that constant feeling of being “ON”… it can be a lot!
- I have this feeling that I’m not contributing to our family financially
When it comes time to pay the bills, I look at my bank account and cringe. As the spouse whose profession pays more, I always felt this pride when bringing home a paycheck. While blogging occasionally gives me a few dollars, it’s nothing like that steady income that I used to provide. I like to think of my family as my investment at the moment. I’m not investing into the financial bank but I’m investing in our love bank.
- It used to make me feel “less than”
I started to get in this ugly habit of responding “I’m just a mom”, when people asked me what I was doing currently. Now that I’ve been doing this for a while & I’ve determined my value to my family, I know that I’m not JUST a mom. I’m the best mom that I can be and I’m proud of that everyday.
Which is harder: being a stay-at-home mom or a working mom?
You’d be surprised at how often I get asked this question. The answer is: THERE IS NO COMPETITION BECAUSE BEING A MOM IS HARD ENOUGH. Seriously, after doing both, I can verify that they are equally hard in their own ways.
What does the future look like for you?
So many people have asked about how long I plan to do this… and I can’t say. In 2018, I plan to start looking for jobs. The thought of advancing my career is exciting but the thought of being away from my sweet little babes is also unsettling. I know that no matter what I do, they will be 100 percent taken care of. So, I’m not too worried about the future- just staying focused on the present!
Speaking of, it’s 11:05 pm and if I want to have a decent day with these kiddos tomorrow, this stay-at-home mom needs to get some rest!
Thanks for reading and check out Pink Blush for some cute clothes! 🙂